E-harmony

“You’ll never know if you don’t try it. At least in the bigger scheme of things if it sucks, then you know that you looked at bars, you tried the mutual friend route, and you looked on-line. And there’s nothing that you are missing out on,” said my brother, Chris.


“I don’t know. I just feel weird having to resort to e-harmony for dating,” I answered.

“What’s there to lose?”

“How about 149 bucks!”

“Really? You think that you’ll care about 149 bucks when you meet your wife online.”

“Fine.”

And that’s where I met Kristin.

E-harmony was an interesting experience. Here were so many people floating around as profiles, putting their best foot forward, looking for love online of all places. How do I make a profile? What pictures should I use? I don’t want to sound too nerdy, but I am kind of dorky.

My first match was Kristin. And she contacted me of all things.

“Hey Brian-So I'm new to this website the and it seems the question thing takes forever to get to know someone! I'd like to chat if you'd be up for it.

Best,
Kristin”

“Yeah. That sounds cool. I am a week into this too, so I don't really understand the 4 steps. Passionate about interior design... that sounds cool. Have you seen the show the "outdoor room"? The rooms they come up with are amazing. If you haven't seen the show you should hulu it. Tell me about what you like to do, like what are you up to this weekend? I hope to hear from you soon.”

I've never seen outdoor room...I'll definitely have to check it out. Thanks for the recommendation! So you like to ice skate? I haven't been yet this year, but when I was younger I was quite the skater!

Let's see, during the week I'm working quite a bit as well, going to kickboxing or yoga, trying new places for dinner or drinks, or volunteering with Junior League of Chicago.

As far as this weekend, Saturday I'll probably be going to yoga and then meeting a friend for a little shopping. Saturday night I think I'm actually going to a themed Jersey Shore party. Really random, but I suppose it could be entertaining! What are you up to this weekend?

Where do you live in the city? I live in Lincoln Park.”

“Yeah, I live downtown magnificent mile area. So I can walk to millenium park whenever for free ice skating (with your own skates that is).

I think it's awesome that you do kickboxing and yoga. I volunteer with Chicago Cares. I also mix it up with some hard and soft activities (i.e. jujutsu, ballroom and gymnastics).

I am hanging out with friends in the evenings on friday and saturday. You sound very outgoing and fun, we should meet up some time. Are you free for coffee or ice skating this weekend?”

And that was it. It was not nearly as stressful as I thought it would be. We ended up meeting up Sunday for brunch. It also happened to be Valentine’s day, which I didn’t pay attention to. So we showed up at the restaurant and it was filled with couples, hearts and red balloons everywhere and here I was meeting a girl that I had never met before except online. Would she look like her picture? Stories of people who looked nothing like their picture who were really serial killers sprouted in my mind. Would she really kill me in such a public place? I cleared my mind of such ridiculous thoughts and soon we were in a booth chatting about anything and everything. The thing that struck me about Kristin was that she said the right thing… all the time. It was kind of uncanny. It just made me wonder how closely she read my profile. How did she know that we would like the same things? Was she saying what she knew I wanted to hear, or was that really her and e-harmony’s 29 dimensions of compatibility actually did something right? I don’t believe in those 29 dimensions, there is no scientific merit to that.

The next several months were a whirlwind of meet and greets, ahem I mean dates. They might as well have been business dinners. As I met new people, my confidence in talking to strangers increased. At some point I started to not believe I would find anything meaningful continuing to try and find someone I actually liked.

Kristin was the only one who came close.  3 months later, $149 bucks poorer, I thought it was a great experience, but things never did work out with me and Kristin.  The issue with online dating, is just that online dating.  E-mail and the web is your competition, so maybe you click well, but you never know if someone will click better.